AASD Refuses to Cancel School Even With 1,000 Inches of Snowfall *April Fools*

DISCLAIMER: This article is a satire article, and should not be taken as truth or fact. The purpose of this article is for the April Fools series, where we publish satire articles for comedy purposes only. That being said, this article is not fake news, as we are not claiming the content of this article to be true in any way.


Sarah E. Fleming, Online Editor

Even with 1,000 inches of snow last night and a blizzard raging this morning, the AASD has decided to not cancel school today. “It was a tough decision,” says a representative of the AASD, “but we decided that education is more important than safety. We are aware that students are having to climb out their second story windows and use sled dogs in order to make it to school, we still think that canceling school for the day was unnecessary. We were considering a two-hour delay, but we decided against it.” The AASD representative also stated that all students that were late would be marked as unexcused unless excused by a parent. “We are aware that by not canceling school at least 25% of our students will get hypothermia and some of them will need to get limbs amputated to due to exposure, we feel that is a small price to pay for a day of education. We also had our working parents in mind, and we didn’t want to mess with their schedules.” One working parent had this to say about not having a snow day today, “I’m so glad that my little first grader Suzie still has school today! I work from six to four every day, so having a two-hour delay or a snow day would really put a bump in my schedule. Now, all I have to worry about is her crawling her way through the blizzard so that she can learn basic addition at school today. Fingers crossed she doesn’t need any fingers or toes amputated!”