Noctiluca

Due to Lack of Parking, Seniors Park on School Roof *April Fools*

DISCLAIMER: This article is a satire article, and should not be taken as truth or fact. The purpose of this article is for the April Fools series, where we publish satire articles for comedy purposes only. That being said, this article is not fake news, as we are not claiming the content of this article to be true in any way.

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Appleton North Seniors line their cars up in neat rows on the roof of the school

Appleton North Seniors line their cars up in neat rows on the roof of the school

Appleton North Seniors line their cars up in neat rows on the roof of the school

Sarah E. Fleming, Online Editor

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At Appleton North, there are now more cars than parking spaces, so this year’s seniors have come up with a creative idea: parking on the school roof. “Honestly, we’ve exhausted all our other options,” says senior Parker Roof, “this is our last resort at finding places to park.” When I asked Roof how he and other seniors managed to get his car on top of the multistory building, he told me “I’m not telling you! If the sophomores find out, they’ll park there too and we’ll have to find yet another place to park! Through a painstaking process of trial and error, we have decided that parking on the roof of the school is our best shot at getting somewhere to park. We tried parking on the tennis courts, but there wasn’t enough room for all of us and Mr. Burt used the ball machine to shoot tennis balls at our cars. Next, we tried to use the football field, but Mr. Salm threatened to give us all detentions. We even tried parking on top of each other, but a lot of damage was created that way. The roof is perfect, as there is a lot of space for us to park. The only downside is getting up there, that is a real hassle.” When I asked Mr. Pyenenberg about the roof parking he said “I’m really surprised that they were able to actually get up there. Even though it is quite dangerous, I’m willing to allow it for the remainder of the semester due to the fact that their innovation is impressive.”

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Due to Lack of Parking, Seniors Park on School Roof *April Fools*